Friday, August 21, 2009

Recap 7/13 - 7/18 2009

Here are the shows I will be writing about this week: Next Food Network Star, Kathy Griffin, Warehouse 13, Top Chef Masters, Top Gear, Big Brother, and Eureka. Also a few other odds and ends.

Those odds and ends will be a couple of comments about 2 specials that aired this week, one with Michael Jackson's father, and one with Harry Potter author, JK Rowling. I also will have some brief comments about shows that I don't watch, but have seen clips from or read about (AGT, Bachelorette.)

I also will be posting spoilers about Big Brother, along with some NUDEs of 2 of the HGs (1 male 1 female,) as well as some clips of 2 HGs being at the same event long before they were ever in the house together. Hmm.

Next Food Network Star:

This episode they sent the contestants from NY to Miami but first (sorry Chenbot!) they had to cook in the style of some restaurants in the new JetBlue terminal at JFK airport. Jeffrey got Italian, Debbie got a steak house, Michael had "French Cuisine," Melissa had Tapas, and Jameka had Sushi.

Melissa and Jeffrey both made great dishes and had great presentation, and Melissa AGAIN had a nice little "tidbit" cooking tip. Debbie made salad. For a steakhouse. Jameka mentioned intestinal issues while flying when she was making her food presentation. Nothing like equating your food with the toilet. Michael wanted to do oysters but couldn't get them shucked, and both his food and presentation seriously lacked and he was named "worst" of the group. Jeffrey won the challenge and that gave him a GREAT advantage for the "elimination challenge" in Miami.

In Miami, they were to cater a party and each had to make 2 dishes. Jeffrey got to assign people what jobs they were going to do and he gave himself host (smart,) Michael bartender (smart,) Debbie who is a caterer to run the kitchen (smart,) and Melissa and Jameka were kitchen help. Jeffrey kept trying to have the 2 ladies stop and see how they were supposed to cook and present everyone's food since they would ultimately be responsible for executing it and getting it out. Nobody ever seemed to find the time to stop working on their own dish, so Jeffrey had them run through everything very quickly.

Jeffrey then did a GREAT job greeting the guests, and Michael did his fun party guy shtick to entertain the crowd. But the ladies couldn't keep up and the diners were getting hungry and restless. Everything someone emerged from the he kitchen with food, they were mobbed by the hungry wolves. It got so bad that Bobby Flay actually sauntered into the kitchen to tell the women to pick up the pace.

At the judging panel, they asked Debbie why things went so poorly when she's a caterer and she should know how to make it all work even with limited help. She claimed that she did "everything she could" to get the food out. Jeffrey stated that he thought that the dishes that people came up with were too complicated given the circumstances. Melissa, though, called out Debbie. She noted that she made 3 dishes instead of the required 2, and was the one who prepared both of Jeffrey's dishes for a total of 5 dishes. Jameka did her 2 and Michael's 2 for a total of 4 dishes. That meant that Debbie who did "everything she could" actually only worked on her OWN 2 dishes. Bob was NOT happy with her BS.

As for the food, Jeffrey had to rely on store bought chips and the food was ok, but lacking. The drink that he made also lacked the "heat" that it should have. Melissa was the only one to make a vegetarian dish, but the judges felt that perhaps she should have only made 2 dishes and less complex. Jameka had one good dish and one not so much. Michael's dishes sucked ass, and he actually said that he likes cooking for people live and not in front of a camera. Umm...does he know what the title of this show is? Debbie made the best food, and ultimately that's what saved her from her BS kitchen performance. Michael got a well deserved boot. So, the Final Four are as I predicted. Jeffrey, the early leader who probably SHOULD win this all things considered. If not, he should get offered a show regardless. He has a great way with the camera and great food. Debbie who the judges seem to LOVE despite all of her drawbacks. Her saving grace has often been her food, but I think her on camera time has sucked. Melissa who is the judges favorite as she most fits their demographic, but she too has not shown me much on camera. She had one great moment, but the rest of the time she rushes thru. And Jameka who I think will be the next eliminated. She has sucked in food and on camera far too many times compared to the others, and doesn't seem to respond well to pressure.

Kathy Griffin:

Funny enough, this episode ALSO dealt with Miami. KG decided that if she wants to be an A-List Star, she needs a second home on Star Island in Miami. So she stayed in singer Gloria Estefan's guest house and along with Rosie O'Donnell, went house hunting. There was NO WAY she'd buy these $15 Million homes, so it was all BS from the he get go. There were some funny moments, but mostly it was a waster of time. Her real estate agent was former Major League Baseball player Billy Bean who came out as gay 4 years after retiring (way to stand up for yourself.) The selling agent for a $17 Million house went off on KG (which may have been faked or enhanced for the camera) about her being some dumbass Hollywood person who wasted her time by offering $1.75 Million for the house. Yep, that pretty much summed up the whole episode.

Warehouse 13:

I thought this episode was a VAST improvement over the bloated 2 hour pilot. It dealt with bank robbers using sound to incapacitate people at the bank, but not by knocking them out with loud sound or shockwaves, but by subduing them with music that sort of put them into a trance where they "felt loved" and couldn't remember what had happened. It turned out that some eccentric composer came up with the sound, and his daughter, caretaker, and his former sound engineer used the bank robberies to buy back all of the guy's archived recordings from a music label, and it reunited the guy with the long lost daughter. In the end, the agents were only assigned to retrieve the song that will have to be stored in the warehouse, so they didn't arrest the people for the bank robberies...nor did they report them to the FBI task force which was led by "Caprica Six" herself, Tricia Helfer. The other storyline dealt with someone trying to hack into the warehouses' main frame. Artie (the warehouse caretaker) tracked the hack back (say that 3 times fast outloud!) to the office of the agent's former boss at the Secret Service. Turns out, it was just routed to LOOK that way. While investigating it, Artie made a connection which he felt would expose the hacker, but instead it caused Artie to have some sort of out of body experience where he kept hearing someone shout "You've got to stop her!" Hmm. WTF is going on? No answers this week, so it will be something ongoing this season I suppose.

Top Chef Masters:

I only recognized one Chef this week, Michael Chiarello who in his opening profile was shown to have been working as a tv chef, but now was back to restaurant cooking. Michael won the Quickfire Challenge with 4.5 stars. One Chef became the first person to NOT finish, and got ZERO stars. Michael went on to win the Elimination Challenge, and will be in the Championship rounds! Good for him. I guess that's a big "F-U" to the Food Network for the way they always treated him as a "B" star on the network.

Top Gear:

This episode they had to drive across Botswana from Zimbabwe to Namibia in non-4 wheel drive cars. James drove a Mercedes which is VERY popular in Africa. Jeremy drove a big ass car that was much too heavy and in crappy condition for the trip. Hammond drove a dinky little car that, of the three, actually did the best. The only problem his car had was when Hammond tried to cross a flooded road by staying on the road and it filled the car with water. James and Jeremy drove across at a different point, and while James got stuck, Jeremy's car was able to push it out. James and Jeremy had to take their cars apart to lighten them, which sucked when they got to an extremely dry dessert and their open cars had no protection from all of the dust. Jeremy said that he and James had probably just shaved 5-10 years off their lives. One good thing about the dust, though, was that it caused the "moonrise" to be orange. It looked like a reverse sunset. The "Stig's African Cousin" took their cars for time laps, although Jeremy's car wouldn't start, so "African Stig" just walked away. It was funny because it was a skinny black guy in the Stig's silver Puma shoes, white Puma gloves, a white African "toga," and the Stig's white helmet. Pretty funny.


This episode started with Jo having just completed a bi-annual test lasting 48 hours, and Carter needing to start his test. One of the lab assistants described Jo as "perfect" and Carter noted that he doubted that he'd do as well. At the end, Carter did pass, but didn't score high enough to allow him to be tested in 2 years, so he'd have to retake it again next year. D'oh!

The lab assistant who said that Jo was "perfect" stole 3 devices and used them to change her DNA to match Jo, essentially created a "Second Jo." This "new Jo" sang Karaoke and hit on Fargo while the real Jo slept at Carter's (to watch over his daughter.) Eventually, "fake Jo" made the real Jo look like the lab assistant and had her locked up. It took Jo's boyfriend to figure out who she really was. The DNA altering was causing both Jo and the lab assistant to have their DNA unravel. Eventually, all was set right, and although the lab assistant did some "bad things," the company was impressed with her work, so she was allowed to continue to work while her case was examined. Fargo now realized that he hadn't been noticing her, and now they seem to be heading off to "date land."

ABC Primtime:

ABC had Chris Connelly interview Michael Jackson's dad. ABC is denying that they paid for the interview, but I bet that they did. Joe is an a-hole of the HIGHEST order. When Chris asked him about losing Michael, he didn't talk about losing his son, he talked about losing this star that he spent so much time and effort creating. What an ass. Also this week, the footage of Michael's hair catching on fire at the 1984 Pepsi commercial shoot was finally released. It was HORRIBLE. The guy's whole head engulfed in flames, and when it was finally put out, he had a HUGE bald spot on the top of his head, and a second smaller bald spot towards the side. Watching someone burn is one of the WORSE things to see, so I will not post the clip here, but it is all over the internet. Instead, here is a long lost clip of Michael singing "forever" and then sitting next to LaToya for an interview. This was taken around 1984 or 1985. I'm not sure if it ever aired, but it is really interesting to watch:

JK Rowling, A Year in the Life:

This special aired in the UK 2 years ago, and it did a nice job of showing that she deserves all the money she gets from Harry Potter. It talked about how she was living in this tiny place when she wrote HP, and worked long and hard to get it published. It did seem to have some "phony moments" such as when they went back to that little place and she "cried," as well as a scene showing her "write the ending" to the final Harry Potter book. It's possible that they paid her to film her write that moment, but I bet it was "recreated."

America's Got Talent:

I don't watch this show, but I watched the clips of the 2 "stars" from this week. One was a middle aged woman (ala Susan Boyle) who was born with a cleft palate and was told to not even to bother auditioning for a cruise line. She sang, and like Susan Boyle, she was pretty good. I don't think she was as good as Susan, but she seems a LOT nicer, less bitter, and more mentally stable. The other was a 9 year old blues guitar player. He was OK, but a quick search of YouTube will show LOTS of kids from 6-16 who are waaay better. Of course, it's hard to compare him to older kids, but even some of the kids around his age seem to be "cleaner." This kid's guitar sounded a little out of tune, and at times it sounded like his fingers were hitting the other strings while he was playing. It caused this "sloppy" distortion kind of sound. Again, he's pretty darn good for 9, but not as good as people are hyping him to be. For comparison, here is this 9 year old kid from Japan who became a YouTube sensation and then got to appear on Ellen Degeneres recently. He doesn't speak much English, so you have to forgive his English singing, but just listen to his guitar playing. No "sloppiness" there.

The Bachelorette:

This is another show that I don't watch, but I have to comment on this week. So, apparently she's down to the final 3 guys. So what does she do? Has sex with all 3 of them! Well, actually she apparently had sex with 2 of them, but got upset when the third guy was unable to perform. Now, I am not a prude, but I don't think I'd be all that excited to have sex with some chick with cameras just outside, and after she had just done 2 other guys the day and 2 days prior. At the end of the episode, one of the guys she slept with got the boot. Hey, Richard Dawson, what's your take on this? Richard: "Survey Says...SLUT!" Yep, that pretty much sums it up. I've read that this chick seems to have poor self esteem and makes poor choices. It sounds like all of that was evident in this episode. And for the record, I'd feel this way if it was a bachelor who had sex with 3 gals too...or 2 and tried for # 3.

Big Brother:

In order to see the "hidden or inviso text" hold down the left mouse button and drag it to the end.
I'm not going to recap, instead, here is the spoiler as to who are the "Have Nots" this week and get slop and have to sleep on the mats in the metal room: the popular clique - laura and jordan, who cried and cried about it. The athletes bullied the house about the new bed assignments. A-holes. and who got nominated by Ronnie: ronnie nominated Jeff & laura, Jeff actually all but begged ronnie to put him up Also, last night, SPOILERS: Russell went off on lydia. He just wants to have time for everyone to eat and have drinks together with everyone and not talk game and he's getting sick of lydia and ronnie. he actually went and hung out with laura, jordan, casey and Jeff and seems to recognize that jessie, natalie, lydia and ronnie are the biggest threats to everyone while Jeff tried to warn Russell to watch his back and laura actually has predicted a lot of the things that's happened so far.

Braden, who got booted yesterday, once appeared on a show called Dante's Cove which was a gay/lesbian/bi horror themed soap opera. Here he is full frontal nude so obviously NSFW:

Jordan has fake boobs and has let nearly everyone in the house feel them. She also seems to have set the record for most nudity in the house, as she just doesn't seem to care. She actually "accidentally" flashed Jeff, and said that she didn't even realize she was doing it. Anyway, here are a bunch of screen caps that some creepy guy took of the female HGs in various suggestive poses or outfits including many stills of Jordan topless and nude, so obviously NSFW:

At some point in the recent past, Casey in his DJ Mingle Mixx persona hosted a bikini contest in Florida and JESSIE was a judge! I wonder if some twist will be revealed that they're friends outside the house? The link has some booty shaking, so it may not be best to view at work:

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