Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I hope she kept the receipt

Kate Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8 just shot a talk show pilot.
Now, put that gun down...you don't HAVE to WATCH it.

About possibly getting her own talk show, she said, "I've been given the gift of gab, so why not use it?"
Not only do I hope she kept the receipt, but I'd hate to be the "regiftee."

Before she made that statement, here are some other phrases that Kate tried out first...

"I've been given the gift of grab, so why not misuse it?"

"I've been given the gift of flab, so why not use it?"

"I've been given the gift of scab, so why not use it?"

"I've been given the gift of crabs, so why not use it?"

"I've been given the gift of rehab, so why not abuse it?"

"I've been given the gift of stab, so why not use it?"

"I've been given the swift jab, so why not use it?"

"I've been given a lift by cabs, so why not use it?"

"I've been driven miffed and stabbed, so why not excuse it?"

"I've been driven from thrift and drab, so why not choose it?"

"I've been set adrift on memory bliss of you" (Holla PM Dawn!)

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Did American Idol just Jump The Shark?

I'm afraid that American Idol has strapped on the water skis and made a run off a ramp over a large man-eating fish.
Yes, American Idol has just Jumped The Shark.

When Paula's new manager cost her one of the best jobs on TV, AI responded fairly well by bringing in performers to help judge the early rounds. Although some of the names are somewhat questionable (Posh Spice? Seriously?) At least you could make the connection between the guest judge and singing/performing.

What's wrong with 3 judges? Last year, they kept running over on time and even one week had the judges make comments in pairs so that some contestants didn't hear from Simon, for example. It didn't work, and now they've added someone who is going to be rambling on and on with her "confused stream of consciousness comedy." How is that not going to make the show run over on time?

I had thought that with all of the time issues from last year that they'd just go with 3 judges this season. Which is what they SHOULD have done. Then I had heard rumors that they might be trying to sign Marie Osmond, Debbie (err, excuse me, Deborah) Gibson or Taylor Dayne. I could have lived with any of them, but I STILL didn't see the need.

But Ellen Effing DeGeneres?

Don't get me wrong. I used to like Ellen. I don't mind her now. I HATE her shtick that she's always confused and rambles non stop hoping that her stream of consciousness will end up being funny. Usually, it isn't. But WTF does SHE have to do with a SINGING COMPETITION?!!!!??!?!?!!!??

She was a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance. I don't watch the show, but I've seen/heard the clips. She offered nothing. No criticism, no earned praise, no insightful remarks, nothing. She did shtick. Bad shtick. And it was ALL ABOUT HER. The ONLY comment that I saw about the dancers was something like "I'm going to have you come to my house to hang pictures because you're good at NAILING IT!" Oy. The rest of it was her shtick like she just wanted to sit close to the stage and didn't know she'd be judging (more confused Ellen,) or "it was rich and full bodied...oh sorry, I'm thinking about the wine I had before I came out here." Ugh. Think I'm being too harsh on her? Check out this video clip of just her on the show. Tell me who her comments are directed to 99% of the time, her or the dancers.

What very little credibility Idol had left, they just tossed into the shit can and lit it on fire. The SHOW is about the SINGERS and NOT the JUDGES or RYAN!!! Look, I'll give it a go, but man, what a total disaster. I hope at least they put some good wax on those skies. Maybe they'll actually be able to jump over the shark, and not land in its belly.

I also found out that Ellen signed a 5 year contract with American Idol, so they (and we) are going to be "stuck" with her no matter how it turns out.

Michael Slezak who blogs about AI and hosts the hilarious web series Idolatry on EW.com says that AI is his favorite show and while he loves Ellen and her show, he is not happy about her coming onto AI. He also bagged on her "judging" on SYTYCD. http://popwatch.ew.com/2009/09/10/ellen-degeneres-american-idol-gah/

I just read an article at tvguide.com where they asked Randy and Kara about Ellen. Randy said that he, Ellen, and Ryan are all buddies. So, now I know how she got the job. She's buds with the judges and producers. She didn't get the job because she was the most qualified, she got the job because they're all "pals." Favoritism at its worst.

I'll see how it plays out, but I am NOT optimistic.

( I originally posted this 2 days ago, but needed to repost it as I added some new info.)

Recap 9/7 - 9/12

Warehouse 13:

The agents got trapped in the Warehouse which almost had an overload, while Artie faced that "sci fi" cliché, the performance review.

Claudia decided to play with the zip line, but it snapped. She ended up crashing into a full scale replica of the Bed & Breakfast that the Warehouse employees live. The wire, meanwhile, knocked a can of silly string into some mechanical cogs, and it glued it to a stop. Bad news as the cogs pump the Purple Gunk throughout the Warehouse, and it's the gunk that makes the artifacts inert. With the wheels not turning, the artifacts start to interact, and the gunk starts to build up back pressure. The whole place is gonna blow unless they can fix it.

Unfortunately, while tracking down Claudia, Pete & Myka enter the fake B&B and once they close the door they find that they can't leave. Whenever they try to go out a door, window, or hole in the wall, they just find themselves back inside. With the Mrs. Frederic's recorded voice now giving a countdown to boomsday, the agent's finally realize that the only thing different in this B&B is a painting on the wall that is of the living room. They realize that if things in the LR get moved, they get moved in the painting. After some trial and error, they use the painting to open a hole in the B&B to get out. Once out, they see a nasty storm cloud, inside the Warehouse, and some very powerful artifact charge dispersals crackling around.

They decide that the fastest way to the Gunk Room, is through the Dark Room, where the most powerful and dangerous artifacts are stored. Unfortunately, despite Myka's warnings, Pete ends up interacting with an artifact and gets stuck as it sucks the life out of him. Myka tells Claudia that she trusts her (aww) and sends Claudia to the Gunk Room to fix the problem, while she fixes Pete. Eventually, Myka uses a push broom to shove Pete away from the artifact, but now he's too drained to go right away, so Myka runs off to help Claudia.

Good thing, because Claudia had been removing the silly string while wearing their special purple artifact safe gloves, but decided to take them off...so the silly string is now wrapped around her arm. Myka shows up to try to help pull Claudia away, and also gets stuck. The gears are now pulling both women towards them and will grind them up. Pete shows up and uses the snowglobe artifact in Claudia's bag to freeze the string, and then smashes it. The gals are now free, and so are the cogs, with less than 30 seconds to spare.

Meanwhile, Artie delivered paperwork and payroll to a courier who he meets car to car out in the desert in front of a little diner. The courier pulls away, and there is Mrs. Frederic's bodyguard in front of Artie's car who tells him to go into the diner. Artie sits with Mrs. Frederic and they both order a pie homemade by the waitress. After a bit, some patrons leave and suddenly the diner is closed for business. It turns out that all the remaining diners, including the waitress, are the "regents" who oversee the Warehouse. Artie is under review because of some foul-ups including the destruction of artifacts, the letting loose of "Alice," and the return of McPherson. This is a tired gimmick in a lot of Sci Fi shows, but thankfully, they didn't make it a "clip show" as is usually done.

Artie gets reamed by the guy who played Baltar's lawyer on BSG, and the FBI agent's co-worker on Dollhouse. Artie realizes that the regents are just "regular people" like the waitress, which surprises him. He also realizes that they are terrified of McPherson and are essentially "in hiding" from him. Artie tells them that they have prevented him from going after McPherson, and if they want him stopped, that they need to untie his hands as he feels that the team he has now is the best ever, with the 2 best agents ever. He then goes outside to sit on the porch and cool off and let them talk. Bye the bye, Mrs. Frederic joins him and tells him that HE is the best agent the Warehouse has ever had, and that the regents approve of him and as for McPherson, she said, "Happy hunting." With 2 episodes to go, it looks like stopping McPherson will be the Season Finalé, if not both of the next 2 episodes.

Top Chef 6 - Las Vegas:

The chefs go to Daniel Boulud's restaurant at the Wynn and have to create something unique using snails (as that is a French specialty) for their quickfire. Added twist is that the winner will not only be immune, but will also get a "special prize," while the loser gets sent home. Ouch.

Not real surprise, but Kevin, Jen and Misogynist Mike I. are the tops with Kevin winning. Instead of a $15,000 chip (that's no chips for the last 2 Quickfires...what are they, cheapos?) he gets to dine with 4 of the best French Chefs in the world. Daniel Boulud, Hubert Keller (who finished third in Top Chef Masters,) Jean Joho, Laurent Tourondel, and Joel Rubochon who was named the "Chef of the Century" in France and his restaurants have a combined 25 Michelin Stars...more than ANYONE else. Chef Tom thinks that Tom Keller, and American, is also one of the best French Chefs in the world, BTW. Kevin felt honored, while the cheftestants who were to compete all looked like they wanted to throw up. Ashley even admitted that she did. In some ways, to these chefs, it'd be like cooking for God as these guys are leaders and inspiration to chefs all over the world.

The chefs drew knives. Some had a protein, while others had a classic French sauce. The chefs then had to decide which "protein chef" would pair up with which "sauce chef" to make a single dish to serve. Once again, the tops remain at the top with the pair of Jen and brother Michael as one top team, and brother Bryan and Mike I. the other top team. Actually though, Mike I.'s dish was explained to him by Bryan, and although they didn't show it on tv, Chef Tom said that the judges figured it out because the style and technique had "Bryan" written all over it and not "Mike I." So, Bryan won the challenge. Bryan now has 2 Elimination Challenge wins while his brother Michael has 1 Elimination win, 1 Quickfire win, and 2 other Top Finishes in other Elimination Challenges.

The bottom dishes were Hector and Ash, and Ashley and Mattin. A bit of a surprise since Mattin is French...although he is from Basque which is more Spanish than French. Mattin lied to the judges that he didn't shoot down Ashley's idea to add asparagus to his sauce. He very nearly got the boot. Had they known he lied, maybe he would have. Instead, Hector got the axe which is what they though he used to cut his meat with. It wasn't cooked properly and it was hacked, not sliced. So after 4 women got booted, Hector became the first guy to go.


Jo's current and former boyfriends both returned to town after Zane had been gone a month while Taggert has been gone for 2 years. They brought back the longest single intact ice core sample ever successfully recovered. However, it's from Russia, so a Russian has to sign it over to GD before they can start working on it.

Taggert and Jo talk it out, finally, because he left without saying goodbye. They wish to remain friends. Zane, meanwhile, is acting like an emotionless zombie. Jo was VERY excited for his return, but he seemed to not give 2 shits.

Zoe, meanwhile, has decided that after delivering Allison's baby that she wants to become a doctor. Perhaps and OB/GYN or a pediatrician. She took the Eureka version of the SAT and doesn't want to know what it says. Her boyfriend tells her that it is 99.8% accurate in picking the best field for someone's aptitude. It says that Zoe should be a robotics engineer. She wants none of it, while her boyfriend gets her a beginner's robotics kit to try out.

Very soon, the cooling system that Zane designed to keep the ice core frozen starts to spread it's icy cold all over town, trapping Zoe, her BF, and other people in the diner. They learn that it has gotten into Zane, and is affecting the emotion center of his brain, thus the zombie behavior. The problem is that the ice regros faster than they can eliminate it, and they still don't understand what's going on. The Sheriff, (SHOCKER,) figures out that the special high tech insulation suit that Zane wears is why it affected him and not Taggert. As the whole town is wrapped in it, that's why it's spreading. The Russian finally concedes to sign off on the ice core so that they can test it, and they find that it has mold like spores that are using the high tech fabric to incubate. They come up with a mist that will dissolve the ice and ill the bacteria and use a little used emergency communication tube network throughout the town to spread the mist. Just in time too as the diner falls to 30 below zero before the Sheriff and Taggert can break through the ice wall at the door.

Zoe, it turns out, figured out that the diner's GIANT freezer will block out the cold so they all hide in there until they're rescued. Afterwards, her BF finds that she finished the robot kit, but he tells her to put it away and focus on what she wants to do. It was her instinct that led her to decide to become a doctor and it was her instinct that saved all of the townspeople in the diner.

The Sheriff and Tess, who in her first day as head of GD in Allison's absence due to maternity leave had to watch the town freeze under her watch, have a nice dinner at the Sheriff's house. Zoe scoots out past them and tells them that she's staying the night with a friend. Earlier, she alluded to the Sheriff that she'd leave so he could bang Tess, which creeped him out. Looks like she made good on the offer because although Tess was about to leave, after Zoe took off, Tess decided to stay. Baum chicka baum baum.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Recap 8/31 - 9/6 including Big Brother Spoilers!!!

Warehouse 13:

The 2 agents were sent to a prison in Florida as a number of inmates had recently killed themselves, and none were considered to be "at risk." The agents tried to find an artifact that would cause people to despair, but they were unable to find anything. They did happen upon a prisoner who had killed his wife but was now somewhat of a spiritual leader, and they thought that perhaps his medallion was the culprit. They learned that decades earlier there had been similar accounts and then on the night of a bad storm (as the prison is near the coast) there was a full scale riot. As it turns out, another bad storm is approaching and the ionic charges are known to be able to amp up the effects of most artifacts.

They soon realize that the mostly steel prison is built on top of an old quartz mine. Quartz also acts as a magnifier for artifacts, so a metal building atop of a quartz foundation surrounded by an electrical storm is a recipe for doom. Worse, both agents are experiencing hallucinations. Pete sees his father who died on the job in a fire when Pete was young and Pete had one of his "hunches" before his Dad left for work but didn't act on it. Myka, meanwhile, sees her previous partner who died on the job and she blames herself. She had just received the Final Report on the "incident" before she left for the prison, but she didn't open the package to read the report.

The agents discover that the violence and suicides were way down during the reign of the prior warden who had died about a month earlier and that's about when the activity flared up. Artie guessed that he must have had something that could cancel the effects of the quartz underneath, which also would have to be something of quartz that was attached to the building in some way.

The Warden also flipped out and barricaded herself in her office while the staff and prisoners also had been severely affected and a riot broke out. Pete found a large quartz cross amongst the prior Warden's stuff that had been put into storage. Pete remembered seeing a photo on the wall of past Warden's that the cross had been on the wall of his office. Pete and the spiritual leader broke down the Warden's door, but in her frenzy, she shot the inmate. Pete got the gun away from her, but then he and Myka both had intense visions. Pete was able to tell his father that even had he tried, he wouldn't have been able to stop his father from going to work that day as his father was duty and honor bound to work and wouldn't have just blown off work because his son had a bad feeling. his guilt resolved, he tried to tell Myka to do the same. In her vision, she was able to tell her dead partner that his recklessness that day is what got him killed. He didn't wait like he was supposed to, and if he had, the killer might have been stopped but since he rushed in early, he walked right into the trap that had been set.

Guilt resolved, the agents hung the cross back where it was, and suddenly all the mayhem ceased. The Warden didn't understand what had happened, and was horrified to realize that she had shot the spiritual inmate. The inmate was not sorry, he felt that he had made peace with what he had done and was "forgiven" and now it was time for his "journey" to continue "elsewhere."

The other storyline concerned Claudia. She was still doing inventory, when a flickering light was bothering her. She complained to Artie that it needed to be changed, and he said that those bulbs never needed changing and had been invented 109 years ago. Back to inventory, Claudia just couldn't get past the flickering bulb. She found a lab coat and goggles amongst the artifacts that once worn together, they attracted to metal. Claudia used the outfit to Spiderman climb up a steel girder and tighten the bulb. It then blew out and Claudia noted that apparently, 109 years was the limit. She then changed the bulb, and found that she was stuck, and dropped the old bulb.

Suddenly, metal objects from all over started flying up and sticking to her...like an old bike amongst others. She knew she'd be in trouble, but she began yelling for Artie, and then began banging in Morse code. Artie finally heard the code and tracked her down. By now, the effects of the coat, which increase the longer it's connected to metal, had started dragging a large Hummer towards her, and was causing the metal frame of the warehouse to buckle.

Artie tried several ways to get her down, but finally was able to harpoon her and got her down. They quickly got her out of the coat and goggles and the effects ended. Later, she was shown writing over and over on a blackboard. I couldn't quite make out what she was writing, but after filling both sides of the board, Artie erased one side and had her continue.

Top Chef 6 - Las Vegas:

The Quickfire involved making a dish with potatoes, and the guest judge was Mark Peel who had competed in Top Chef Masters...and mentioned that to the cheftestants to let them know that he understood the limits of the challenge, especially "time." Ashley, Ash, and Jen were the favorites with Jen winning, but alas, no $15,000 casino chip.
The Elimination Challenge was for the full group, as a group, to prepare a meal for 300 Air Force Servicepeople and their families. Some had just returned from war, and some were heading off, so they were implored to try their hardest and do their best.

Since Jen won the Quickfire and had immunity, the Cheftestants was decided that she'd run the kitchen. The rest would be paired off and be responsible for ONLY 1 dish per pair, but they could do 2 if they wanted and had the time. It was a smart decision by the Cheftestants as it allowed for the kitchen to be managed more efficiently as they'd soon find that they'd need.

They arrived at the Air Base and found that the kitchen was stocked with bulk foods, mostly in bags or cans, and there weren't any pots, pans, or burners...only large scale boilers, fryers, and skillet like surfaces. Jen kept them on task and figured out the order that each "team" would get in using the various equipment. So the Cheftestants actually did the right thing and made it much easier on themselves. When they paired up, though, the sad thing was that Jesse and Ron, who hadn't been doing so well, ended up with each other when nobody wanted to work with them. Ouch. So, in the Nevada heat, they decided to make Clam Chowder. Oy boy.

Actually, the Air Force Personnel liked the chowder and for some of the "east coasters" it was like "comfort food." The judges were less thrilled, and weren't sure it was a good idea, but ultimately decided that it was decent. They also noted that spicy chili had been made, so the "hot" argument would have to apply for both, and chili is very much cooked even in Summer in Nevada.

The tops, no surprise, were Kevin and Eli who made southern food including a potato salad that got raves. Michael V, one of the brothers, took Slab Bacon and turned it into a sort of taco inside a lettuce cup with some nuts. it proved to be the winning dish and in their blogs for this episode, Tom and Gail raved about it, especially Gail.

In the bottom, again no surprise, were Preeti and Laurine who made a weak and uninspired pasta salad, and loud moth Mike I. who was paired with winner Michael V. Mike I was pissed, thinking that if his "partner" won, then he should be safe. But, the judges pointed out that the challenge didn't pair up the cheftestants, they did it themselves. As such, Michael was judged for his dish which Mike I admitted was Michael's while his dish was an uninspired Greek salad. Tom accused Mike as just making a "throw away' dish and didn't put any effort into it, and it was bland. The women, though, were ravaged. Not only was it a weak dish for a competition of this level, but it was just poorly made, bland, underseasoned, poorly presented, just terrible. Preeti said she thought it was good and it seemed to be a "crowd pleaser." The judges noted that it wasn't a "judge pleaser." Laurine noted that she realized where they went wrong and was embarrassed by having put it out. In the end, to the shock of nobody, Preeti was kicked off...making her the third woman in a row to go.

At this point, it's clear that the Final Four SHOULD be the 2 brothers, Kevin, and Jen. Either Jesse or Ron will probably be the next to go, and if they're both in the bottom, I see them booting Ron only because just woman have gotten the axe so far. Pretty much everyone else is just somewhere in the middle, they may win a Quickfire or Challenge here and there, but as Tom alluded to in one of his blogs, the chefs stay pretty consistent with the best near the top, the worst near the bottom, and the rest just middling through.

Big Brother Soilers!!!:

That's right, this week these are Big Brother SOILERS not SPOILERS because I feel dirty just typing them. Ick.

NataLIE won HOH because Jordan sucks at comps and Michele choked, and then as HOH she nominated Michele & Kevin. She wore a robe, a crown, and carried a pool cue bridge as a scepter for the nomination ceremony. She laid into Michele, calling her evil and said that Michele "caused" Chima to throw her mic pack and get expelled. Again shows that neither Chima nor NataLIE accept personal responsibility. NataLIE also went on and on about how she never lied...yeah, like she's really 18, and Big Brother just gave her Mike's Hard Lemonade for her HOH fridge. Pandora's box allowed her to have 20 minutes with her boyfriend, who proposed to her. There are reports that Kevin told her to make something up so that she had "something" to tell the others, so the boyfriend and engagement may all be another NataLIE. But, by opening Pandora's box, that meant that she couldn't play in the Veto comp. Whoever wins the Veto, will have the sole vote to evict. Kevin is acting like he's not happy that she put him on the block but is mad that now he HAS to win Veto since NataLIE isn't playing. NataLIE might actually be less intelligent than Jordan since it made no sense to nominate Kevin and tick him off (if he really was mad) since it all comes down to whoever wins Veto...and by electing to not play, she ticked him off even more. Kevin won Veto. Now he has to decide to vote out Michele and make NataLIE happy, or vote out Jordan and keep Michele in the game and hope that she eliminates NataLIE for him because he doesn't think he can beat NatLIE in the Final 2. He will most likely boot Michele because he thinks he can beat Jordan in the final 3 part HOH, while Michele has a much better chance to win. Also, he wants to take Jordan to Final 2 because he doesn't think she could win the Jury since she's only won 1 Veto comp (Jeff "gave" her the HOH she had.)